I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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