Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
