I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
