i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You can't motorboat a personality
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
