Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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