Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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