singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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