Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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