oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
