only if we run a train.
done.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
