If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
