What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
