You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
