she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
