I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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