why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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