I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
