Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
