My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
It's Friday. Sex?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
