If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
