Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
