It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
50% drunk capacity currently
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
