My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
