I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
