I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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