We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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