i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize