I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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