Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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