Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
