I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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