How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
