Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
