i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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