I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
