Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
