i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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