We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
