Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize