you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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