I just made out with a guy for $7.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
