We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
