totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
