I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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