TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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