some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
