you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
