So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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