ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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