he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
a search helicopter?!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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