Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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