our cab driver is having phone sex.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
