Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
