Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
