Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
