As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
