Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
...so i touched it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
