you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
