I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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