She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
