After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize