I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Who put my cat in the fridge?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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