i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
