I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize