You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize