Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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