Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just gift wrapped bread.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
